It's not youse, it's me
My sister and I are a year apart, and our groups of friends often intersect. Earlier this year her one friend spearheaded preparations for an all-girl trip across the country.
I sat on the idea and was the last of 10 to book. In the midst of job searching and trying to be financially responsible, the possibility of spending money on this getaway made me feel irresponsible. And really guilty.
While the others booked flights and hotel rooms, I kept the trip at a safe distance in my mind. It just so happened that I had plenty of distractions to keep me occupied. Leading up to our departure I was building a website and creating original content; doing early morning gym sessions to prepare for a 10-miler; scheduling networking calls galore; celebrating two birthdays and an anniversary; completing last-minute LV preparations; and managing a bunch of freelance projects.
Still, I felt bad. I don’t buy fancy clothes or gadgets (to an almost embarrassing degree. Everyone who knows me will attest to this). The majority of my money goes to gas, tolls and bills, and whatever little I have left goes into a savings account. When I examined why I felt this way, I kept coming back to “perception”: What would people think if I dropped everything and spent money on something frivolous like a trip?
Taking over a city with nine other young women for what would be an event of a lifetime ultimately lured me in. I went with much trepidation. I worried what “they” (who exactly?) would think. I told my boyfriend I would be the loner of the trip. I wrestled over the situations I’d come back to afterward.
I had the time of my life.
I rolled my ankle, got very little sleep and lost my voice. Aside from day 1 I did nothing “touristy,” which is anti-everywhere else I’ve traveled.
I also detached completely from work and returned last week feeling rejuvenated. I’ve never missed a vacation so, so much.
While I will continue to focus on work and making more money and creating, I will remember the importance of letting myself take a break. To permit myself to be young, dress up and act like everyday is one big party.
Nothing like a vacation from the mind.
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